Home Sweet Home: Formal Dining Room Inspiration and Plans

One of the must-haves in our new house is one that I think seems to be falling out of favor with most prospective home-buyers: a formal dining room.  But, I like the idea of a place to have extra-special meals on our good china - birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Tuesday... and it's important to us that our house is inviting and allows us to host big family and friend events.  So, a formal dining room was a must.  

Our new house has a nice, big dining room that the previous owners used as a sitting room, we think.  

We BY NO MEANS hate the walls in here.  They've been sponge-painted beautifully, but we don't think that the little bit of dining room furniture we have will work with them.  Too Halloween-y :-)

We bought this china cabinet a few years ago, mostly for storage and to display some of our china.  We are planning on using the china pattern as the major inspiration for the room.  This cabinet holds MASS amounts of stuff - at one point, I had all of our china and table linens, as well as all of my bakeware (which is a considerable collection, haha!) in it, easily.  It's no longer available at Value City Furniture, but we are very pleased with its quality and price, and with the service we got there, so we'd recommend them for anything you may be looking for!

This is our china pattern, around which we plan to decorate.  It is Royal Doulton's "Mystique," which as been retired since I was 4. :-)  We got it for a GREAT price from a friend's consignment and decor shop (where I can't wait to go shopping for the new house)!!  The newspapers in was packed in were from 1994, which I thought was pretty neat.

So basically, we are looking for simple black furniture with clean lines to coordinate with our china cabinet.  We found a set we like (it's in the collage... we'd probably do black all over instead of the wood top, and maybe a cream or grey cushion instead of the brown).  Planning on sticking with the soft neutral carpet... for now.  Maybe someday, a long way away, we'll do hardwood or a laminate that looks pretty doggone close :-)  We want to paint the bottom half of the walls a soft grey (with the slightest hint of purple undertones), and the tops soft white, with a white chair rail. 

Sherwin Williams "Wishful Blue" is about what I'm envisioning... but I've been trying for an hour to get it to show up right here.  The best I can do is add it as the background of my inspiration collage.  For some reason, THAT shows up correctly, but it doesn't show up if I save it as an image from Sherwin Williams's site! :-\

I'm not certain what we'll do about curtains.  I may have to just shop and see what strikes my fancy :-)  I'd love to do a medium grey, with maybe some silver in it?  But I don't want to darken the room too much, and I'm afraid that those curtains with black furniture would be too dark.  A very greyed-out purple might be pretty, or even white (but ugh, keeping THAT clean!).  We'll see :-)

The chandelier will be changing!  I might attempt to paint it like a brushed silver, or I may do the smart thing and just buy a new one ;-) If we get a new one, I'd like something pretty basic, not too ornate... but with the option to get pretty bright if we're doing something that requires more light... like homework or card games or something.  :-)

So... here's an inspiration collage with all these elements included.  Can you tell I'm a little bit on the excited side? Please pray that the government shutdown doesn't delay our closing too much!

Hunt for Home: We Have a Winner!

Well.  I had planned a post for today about the houses we toured this weekend, and our thought processes in narrowing 6 homes down to a short list of 2 or 3 to revisit.  

But things didn't go quite like we planned - happily!  

The fourth house we visited, we fell in love with... we looked it up and down, compared it against our needs and wants lists, searched desperately for downsides... then called Ethan's parents and asked them to meet us there in an hour.  We went through the last two houses, just to be thorough, then went back to the fourth house to meet my in-laws.  We took them through it, and these veterans of many home purchases with their critical eyes came to the same conclusion we did - we wanted this house!

We wrote out an offer right there, and after a couple of back-and-forths today, we came to an agreement and signed the contract.  I can't believe how fast it went, but mostly, I can't believe how perfect this house is for our needs!  We also can't believe how wonderful our realtors have been - they even prayed with us over the original offer and for my health and fertility.  This house hunt really seems to have had God's hands ALL over it!  

I'll share more pictures and details a little bit later :-)  And then... inspiration boards, painting, decorating, ohmygoodness, YAY!!! 

Random Outfit Post: Lunch Date!

I had a hot date today... got to pick Ethan up at work and whisk him away to Culver's for lunch!  It was so wonderful.  As grateful as I am that he has a job (REALLY, REALLY grateful!!!), we had been home together for four months, and my days are pretty lonely without him.  Kinda like the guy!  We didn't get to have lunch dates too often when he was at the university, and when he taught high school, I had to take a sub gig for an English or Social Studies teacher. :-)

Speaking of sub jobs... I had an orientation session yesterday (despite having subbed for three years!), so I will hopefully get to start subbing the week after next, after all the paperwork is processed.  Our area schools have recently delegated hiring subs to a joint group of two counties' educational service centers, so by getting hired by one agency allows me to sub in 16 different school districts! Yay!! Lots more opportunities to actually get out in the buildings and earn some Christmas (and furniture?) money!

This is what I wore out to lunch with Ethan today :-)  And, y'all... I stepped outside in jeans, a tank, and a cardi... and was still chilly!  Boy, I hope autumn is really here... so excited for crisp days.  I love summer... love winter... love spring... and I'm glad they each only last about 3 months because I'm always so excited for the next fabulous season to arrive :-)

• Jeans and Booties: Kohls (Clearance jeans, current booties)
• Cardi: New York & Company (couple years ago)
• Sequined Tank: Dress Barn (last year)

Happy fall, y'all!

Book Review: Shooting Blanks: A husband’s perspective on missing the mark and dealing with infertility

I was approached last week to review a new e-book, “Shooting Blanks: A husband's perspective on missing the mark and dealing with infertility" by Jonathan Boldt and Steve Ruiz, two men who are each half of an infertile couple.

The book’s description on Amazon is

"Infertility is one of the most gut-wrenching and emotionally draining experiences known to man (and woman) and finding ways to deal while learning to still live a satisfying existence can be a difficult task—even for us guys. We may not say it out loud (and probably won’t); we may not seek help emotionally (honestly, the odds of that happening are slim to none); and we for sure never want to admit that we just might be shooting blanks. But we feel it all. One of the best ways to numb the pain is with the opiate of laughter, and while it may not be a cure, it sure as hell can get you through a lot.”

Y’all know I am a big believer in finding what little humor can be found in infertility. Unfortunately, much of that humor is borderline “blue” humor that can be a little bit uncomfortable to read, so if you are easily offended, this is probably not the e-book for you.

I am also a little bit disappointed in how every book or book chapter I have read that endeavors to speak to men on this topic, speaks to the inner caveman. I promise, my husband is not a caveman, and I’m betting yours isn’t either. Mine is academically and emotionally intelligent, and does not need to be condescended to when discussing matters of the heart or of the reproductive system.

Those two considerations aside, this was a quick and humorous read that helps fill the need I often have to remember that we’re not alone in this. It’s the same need that keeps us (mostly women, I suspect) scouring the internet for new blogs to read. Sometimes, reading parts of our own stories and our own thoughts in someone else’s voice is what we need to reassure ourselves that we are not, in fact, nuts. While the book may have largely “missed the mark” with us, the overall message and goal are great – get men talking about infertility. Infertile female celebrities are starting to “come out” and talk about their struggles to have children, but their infertile male counterparts are still sadly missing from the scene… which I believe is partly to blame for the double standards “normal” couples face regarding discussing their infertility. Until it becomes less taboo for our husbands to talk openly about their MFI or about dealing with the emotional aspects of having an infertile wife, books like these are one of the few sources providing a male perspective (even if they do tend to be a bit caveman-esque) to them or to us, and as such are a valuable contribution to infertile literature.

You can download your own copy of this e-book on Amazon, here. :-) Mine was provided free-of-charge to me for the purpose of my review, but rest assured... the opinions expressed here are my own :-) (More disclosure – all Amazon links are my affiliate links.)

A New RE and a New Plan!

We met my new RE last week, and left the office feeling encouraged and optimistic, and awed at God’s obvious involvement in this match up.  Such a wonderful feeling for a couple who has spent the last year and a half or so wandering in the desert - so to speak - and waiting for a comforting sign that He was still paying attention!  

I am seeing Dr. G. now, who is a partner in the practice I used before we moved to SC (the doctor I saw there moved just before we did), and happens to be down the hall from my ob/gyn.  When we sat down in his office, Ethan saw a Calvin and Hobbes anthology on his desk and took that as a sign of a kindred spirit :-)  And he was pretty much dead-on!  

He seems very fascinated by my case, which is really encouraging.  Hopefully if he’s fascinated, he will be aggressive and creative in treating me!  He does want to see my hemaglobin a1c down to 7 (and I honestly have no clue what it is right now.  With all the moving and stuff, endo appointments have kind of gotten lost in the shuffle).  To that end, he referred me to a new endo here, Dr. K., who will hopefully not yell at me the way my old OH endo did!  Yelling is so not helpful!  

via Type 1 Diabetes Memes Which is hilarious, by the way.  You should visit them.

Dr. G. is also addressing my ridiculously high DHEA-s level, which is probably responsible for my fatigue and hair loss.  I have orders for a CT scan of my adrenal glands, because he thinks I may have a nodule on one of them, and for some blood work – to check some diabetes-related levels and my AMH and prolactin levels.   We’re going to try to get that scheduled on the same day as my first appointment with Dr. K.  May as well kill a whole bunch of birds with one of Ethan’s leave days!

We are likely headed toward a surgery or two.  If he finds nodules on my adrenals, he will want to remove them.  Not just the nodules, but the whole surrounding gland(s) which COULD result in my needing steroids for the rest of my life.  So please pray THAT’s not needed!  The other surgery would be for ovarian drilling, for which Dr. G. thinks I am probably an excellent candidate.  It can dramatically – albeit temporarily – reduce PCOS symptoms including cysts, excessive androgens (and resultant hair loss), and INSULIN RESISTENCE!  This surgery, I’m actually fairly excited about (oh, the things sick people say!), so I hope it works out that I can do it and it makes enough of a difference to help me attack my a1c!   :-)

The thing that just shocked and delighted us about this appointment though, was when I mentioned the name of my RE in SC, and Dr. G. said, “OH!  How IS [firstname]!?! He was my research mentor!  I just love him!”  Leaving Dr. L. down there was easily the hardest thing for me about leaving SC, so to find out that we are being cared for by someone who was trained by him, who is a big fan of his and who reminds us so much of him in his academic curiosity and personality… just feels miraculous, and helps us feel that we are in the right practice!

And for a last little bit of humor - I made these to wear to all of my RE appointments :-)  The nurses and receptionist were tickled pink... good ice breaker!!  I also have a clay embryo necklace to wear closer to transfer time, haha!

Follow-Up to Prayer Requests

This news is awfully late, but I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers for Ethan's job search.  He starts his new job tomorrow :-)  

We are very excited and thankful - the timing was incredible and the job seems like a perfect fit for him. Our insurance coverage will be uninterrupted, and we didn't even have to pay to Cobra a single month!  Major praise right there!  He will be able to use his grad degrees and administrator's license in curriculum, and the schedule allows him a lot of flexibility as far as when he takes vacation or time off for - say - IVF appointments :-)  Also, the location allows us to still be able to live within half an hour of his parents and grandmother, and within two hours of a bunch of our friends! 

I am so proud of him, and so very, very thankful for all of the prayers, support and encouragement from all of our friends - it looks like one of our biggest challenges is behind us... and we're looking forward to tackling the others!

September Pinspired: A New Way of Thinking about Clothes and Style

This is my fourth Get Pinspired linkup, and I wanted to take this opportunity to do a little bit of reflection on what I have learned over the past four months.

I've never been one to buy clothes excessively... and I've never been one to buy things I didn't love.  But Pinterest has helped me to buy deliberately, strategically.  I am actually looking forward to cleaning out my clothing when we get moved into a house, and those who've known me for a while know that that's kind of a big deal ;-) 

Last week, Ethan and I were out shopping, and I had been talking about trying to find one of those slouchy sweaters that are all over Pinterest, and look so comfortably stylish.  I finally found one, and tried it on.  Then tried it on in a bigger size.  Then tried stripes instead of solid.  You know what?  The look does NOT work on me.  It just doesn't.  And I'm over it :-)  Same thing happened with mint jeans a month or so ago.  They are so cute on some models, but they just didn't do anything for me when I put them on.  Pinterest made me try them on, but Pinterest also gave me the shopping philosophy to walk away when they didn't flatter my figure or fit my personal style.

 

I've learned that, as much as possible, I demand multi-taskers.  You can see from my red pants post, white skirt post, and denim jacket post that I want almost every piece in my wardrobe to be able to be worn multiple ways and in a wide variety of outfits over the casual -> dressy spectrum.  Now, every time I try on a piece, I ask myself: Does this flatter my figure (from all angles!)?  Can I wear it multiple ways (ie, button-downs as shirts, cardigans, or under a sweater)?  Do I have something that serves the same purpose (ie, do I need a red cami when I have that red short-sleeved v-neck)?  Then the really tough question:  Will I actually reach for this when I'm getting dressed, or do I like the IDEA of the piece more than the piece itself?  The result so far has been that every.single.piece of clothing I have bought in the past few months is something I LOVE and I enjoy wearing. 

Okay.  Moving on.  Here's a photo I just had Ethan snap of me tonight, wearing one of my favorite new shirts.  I have worn a lot of "pinspired" outfits this week, but... I've been having some depression problems the past couple of weeks, and most pictures I've tried to take have made me want to cry.  My recent hair loss, that extra weight courtesy of PCOS... fun stuff, y'all.

These were loosely inspirational pics for this outfit... I actually wore the shirt with dark skinnies earlier in the month, but they were in the wash when I got dressed tonight :-) But these were some of the outfits that helped me determine that the plaid shirt was versatile enough to come home with me.

via Cranberry Chic

Could not find original source

Couldn't find original source for this one, either.

Also!  I was so excited about this!!  I've loved everyone's chunky, shiny watches, and I finally got my own.  It looks SO much like this $500+ Citizen watch, but it cost me... drumroll... under $11, thanks to the off-brand and stacking sales and discounts at Kohls.  Yippee!!!

I hope everybody has a lovely September!

the petites: Great Link Up for "Smaller" Bloggers!

I'm co-hosting the petites link up at Caravan Sonnet today!  Thanks, sweet Rebecca, for letting me party with you :-)  And welcome, anyone who is visiting from over there!  

TODAY is the fourth month of something that I am VERY excited about (and hope you will be too!)! I LOVE discovering friends in bloggy world and so many of my bloggy friends say the same thing! Today will continue a monthly link up {on the 24th of each month} for those of us that are known as small tiny the petites in bloggy world! This month "the petites" is EXPANDING. I have received numerous emails requesting that "the petites" include social media so here it is! If you are a blogger who has less then 400 followers via anything "blog related" then this is your opportunity to make some new friends, find new blogs, and discover others in the petite section of bloggy world! *smiles*

The only rule is that if you are linking up you are a blogger with less than 400 followers in the area that you link up (GFC, Bloglovin, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, etc.)! (If you link up in an area that you are not a petite your link will be removed!)

While it is not required it would be great if you shared the button with others so that everybody can get in on the fun! {You can find the new code listed on the side and can adjust the size accordingly for your blog!}

You are not required to follow me but it sure would be nice! *smiles* IF you do become a new follower leave a comment so I can follow you back! 

You can follow me on pinterest by clicking HERE.

  This month I am delighted to have two lovely ladies co-hosting with me! 
Rebekah from Creatively Beloved (who you might have seen hanging out on my sidebar) can be followed on Bloglovin HERE. And one of my dearest friends Katie from Always, Katie can be followed on Bloglovin HERE. Please take a minute to check out their sweet blogs! You will be SO blessed by both of them!! 
If you follow them please leave a comment so that they can follow you back! Stop on over and visit other blogs and make some new friends who are other petites in bloggy world!

Would you like to co-host? I have openings for co-hosting in November. 

Send me an email at: caravansonnet (at)gmail(dot)com.

Back to School! ...when that stupid stork is still absent.

Last year, around this time of August, I wrote a post about how infertile people experience "Back to School" time.  I shared it on my personal facebook page last week, and upon rereading it, it is still rather apt.  It is pretty hard to accept that another year has gone by, and we are basically no closer to being parents.

I've been googling a phrase over and over this week to see if any other infertiles out there were going through the same struggle this week that I am... I'm sure I'm not alone, but I couldn't find any other mentions of it. (2013 edit - found some more, will share).

Back to school STINKS! It stinks right up there with Mother's Day and Christmas! (Have you ever noticed how kid-and-parent-centric back to school commercials are?  It's at least as bad as Christmas! The one I love this year is from Meijer, where the boy brings his mom - a nervous new middle school teacher - an apple and tells her she'll do great.  I go back and forth beween beaming and wiping tears at that one.)

As a professor an educator's wife, it stinks because my summer of not sharing my husband with the university his still-to-be-determined job is over (or will be soon... hopefully.  As in hopefully, the job pans out. We still don't know). As an infertile woman, it stinks to log on to facebook and see all of the pictures of cute little kids with backpacks and excited faces, all of the moms talking about how much they miss their little ones during the days now, and especially the moms who CAN'T WAIT to send their darlings back to school. For people our age, facebook has been overtaken by back to school!!

It's hard to feel left out of the loop, to not get to participate in the excitement, to not even be able to rock our baby and say, "At least we have a few more years until this one starts." It's hard to realize that not only do our friends have kids and we don't, many of them have had kids long enough for them to be starting school. Not only preschool, older grades with homework and multiple teachers! Will we ever get to stand in a school supply aisle and debate the merits of purple glue sticks vs. plain white ones? Will I ever get to respond to a homework question with, "I have no idea, ask your dad"? When am I going to get to use all of the awesome "pack your kids' lunch" pins I've pinned on Pinterest?!

It's especially hard when parents are griping that they cannot wait to send their kids back to school. I want to slap them and tell them to CHERISH the summers -- and every minute -- with their kids, because people like us would do anything to be in their shoes!

Don't get me wrong.. I love my friends' kids. Several of them, I've even "adopted" as extra nieces and nephews. I love watching them grow up, and absolutely expect that their parents will post pictures of their milestones, as they should, and as I will no doubt do if/when we're blessed with babies. It's just sad.

Anybody out there? Can I get an "AMEN"?

I know that the above sounds like jealousy, but there's a perfectly good reason for that.

We're jealous!

But also, we are sad - so very sad - that we aren't yet able to achieve this dream we have both had most of our lives.  We both love kids, we're both "educators" (he's an educator, I'm an educator-in-training, haha). We help/are learning to help mold other people's children... and we want to teach and train and nurture some kids of our own.  We're gonna make mistakes, we know that... but we really think that we'll be great parents. 

Fertile folks, please keep posting about your kids.  I've been accused of making people feel like they need to walk on eggshells, but honestly... we don't expect that of you, and I highly doubt most other infertiles do either.  But... when your infertile friend gets a little extra depressed, try on their shoes for a quick sec and try to be patient.  They love you, they're just fighting their jealousy and grief. 

Infertile folks... Tip number one: Netflix or DVDs.  The whole month of August, probably most of September.  If you can't go cold turkey, at least limit the time you're "captive" in front of commercials that are going to bug you.  Mute the TV and go get a glass of water.  It'll be REAL easy to get that super-healthy 8 glasses a day ;-)  Have some sewing or knitting or something handy so you can look down at it and tune out commercials.

Tip number 2: Facebook has this amazing little feature that is saving what little sanity I have left... the ability to uncheck "follow posts" on a person's profile.  I doubt you'll have time, patience or desire to do this with EVERY parent you know, but pick the worst couple of offenders (you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about, don't you?)... navigate to their timeline... up where it says "friends" (right-hand side, inside the cover photo), click on that, from that drop-down list, click on "follow posts"... the checkmark next to it should disappear, and so will their posts until you re-check that item.  The posts should die down in a couple of weeks from start of pre-return-to-school angst to end of the "kiddo did great at school."  Go back to their timeline, follow the above instructions again, except that you want to put the checkmark back next to "follow posts."  I do this after every.single.pregnancy announcement I see.  On good days when I'm feeling extra strong, I try to catch up on the most recent happenings with my pregnant friends, but at least I'm rarely subjected to, say, ultrasound pictures on the day Aunt Flo decides to visit.  ;-)

Tip number 3: Um.  There is no tip number 3.  I'm just trying to hang on through another couple of weeks of this stuff, and hoping that this time next year I have a ginormous baby belly!  Anybody else wanna give me a tip number 3.. 4... 5?

 

PS: Here are some other blogs on the topic.  I was glad this year to be able to see that some other infertiles could relate and it was Not.Just.Me. ;-)

7 Tips for Infertile People on Surviving Back to School Day

Trying to Conceive and Facing Back to School 

Three Big Prayer Requests

1. My sweet friend Rebecca, over at Caravan Sonnet, is in need of prayers.  She’s an amazing woman going through some brutal health struggles, and I know she would appreciate being lifted up right now.  She’s been a great prayer warrior for a lot of my needs, despite being so much sicker herself… she has the most generous heart!  Please, keep her in your prayers, and maybe even stop by her blog, get to know her and leave some love.  Make her smile :-)
2. I went to the doctor earlier this week and got some blood work drawn.  I had a cyst rupture this weekend, but the resulting cramps haven’t resolved like they should have by now.  I am also extremely fatigued – I was lying in bed at 10:30 the other day, thinking, “13 or 14 hours until I can go back to bed.  Hopefully I can nap sometime in there, too” – before I’d even gotten out of bed in the first place!  And… maybe most disturbingly… I’m losing my hair.  And not in the cyclical, sometimes it falls out more than other times, give it a couple weeks kind of way.  I freaked a professional hairstylist out three weeks ago with how much came out in her hands when she washed my hair, and it is only getting worse.  My ponytails are about half the thickness that they used to be, and I could see scalp when my wet hair was combed straight last night (which is new).  The dryer lint trap is catching almost as much hair as lint.  Besides just being a typically-mildly-vain twenty-something and not wanting to lose my hair, I am scared about what kind of problems this could be a symptom of… I’ve done a pretty good job of not Googling it, but the doctor is checking my thyroid and adrenal glands.  Please pray that it is something simple-to-fix and reversible.
3. Ethan is in the running for a new job!  He interviewed for it this past Monday with 11 other applicants, then had a call-back interview on Wednesday with 3 other applicants.  Then Wednesday night, they asked him to fill out an online questionnaire to determine if his personality is a good fit for the job.  And on Thursday, we found out from one of his references that he is in the final two!!  Then yesterday, we learned that they are moving some people around internally and may wind up with two positions instead of just the one.  We are really excited and encouraged, so please pray that this works out for us!  It just feels so close we can taste it!! 

Thank you for praying for these requests with us!  We're all feeling the strain, and really craving some good news and the chance to recuperate from some of this stress.